The day I learned to meditate

This week has been crazy, and has drained me both emotionally and physically. I'm going to try and fill everyone in as much as possible as to what has been going on, but it's going to be the brief version. This post would just be WAYY  too long if I indulged in every single detail.

Last Thursday, my khun mee picked me up from school, like usual, and then proceeded to tell me that her best friend was dying from cancer. She wanted me to go visit her before she died- which she was anticipating any moment. I agreed.. I mean you can't really turn down something like that. So we drove to the house of the women, and I was faced with probably the most horrific, yet wonderful, scene. A women lay on the couch, definitely VERY sick, unresponsive, with oxygen tanks all around her. Literally everyone she knew was probably there. Friends kept walking in, family was on skype, and her three young kids were sitting in the middle of the floor working on their homework. The thing about Buddhism is that death is a huge deal, but its not a moment to show your grief of your passing love one. They are moving on to their next life, in their eyes, and its almost like a party. Sure, people were sad, but there we no tears, people were telling jokes, the little kids were playing with their toys. They were SO excited to see a farang in their house, that they gave me the best chair and warmed me up a cup of soy milk (which is my favorite.. I am loving the warm soymilk here). They asked me questions about how I liked Thailand, and about my family at home, for the entire 3 hours we were there they were the most hospitable people I have ever met. I wanted to shoo them away and tell them I was ok, they needed to go take care of their dying family member! I was almost in tears for them, and then their kindness just tore my heart  out. And the little kids were about to lose their mom, but the little girl was just happy showing me her fake monopoly money and telling me about how her aunt did her hair. We left at 11, and the woman died at 1 that morning, 2 hours after I left.

Needless to say, I was ready for our retreat to a forest temple over the weekend. I needed to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and think. It was also nice to be back with everyone in the program again, we hardly get to spend time with each other away from school. On the drive to the temple, we visited a wat that was over 900 years old. We also went to a CAVE (!!) and walked around, looking at the stalagmites and stalagtites (spelling..? haha). That was awesome.

When we arrived to the forest wat, we were instructed to put on our elephant pants. No complaints there. You could tell me I had to wear those every single day for the rest of my life, and I would cry tears of happiness. Yiannoula and I decided to go explore the temple, and we were suddenly greeted by a monk who made us sweep all the leaves from all the walk ways. That was a bit of a surprise. During our sweeping excursions, I also met a peacock. He wouldn't spread his feathers for me though. Apparenlty he has to be in the mood to mate..and I guess I just wasn't what he wanted. haha..ew. Anyways.. after we were done cleaning we all were taught how to meditate by monks. Now I know Christians tend to get up in a hizzy about meditation, but let me explain. The purpose of meditation is not worshipping the Buddha (in fact, they knew we were Christians so they told us we didn't have to bow three times to the relic..so they were very respectful of our beliefs). The purpose of meditation is to focus on the present, to forget about what is worrying you about the past and the future, but to relax, take in the peace around you, and realize the blessings you have recieved in life. So, I think its actually a thing Christians should practice! Removing yourself from the world (living in the world but not of it), realizing our purpose on Earth as God has decreed us, relishing in peace.. its something that I think everyone should try at least once.

Now, that I've said that, I must admit I wasn't very good at meditation. I'm not a very quiet person.. (some people are probably saying thats the understatement of the year right there..) so mainting quiet for that long was very hard for me. And my feet fell asleep to the point where I couldn't even move my toes anymore. But it was SO relaxing, and once I got the hang of it and focused on my breathing, it was definitely worth while.

We slept on the floor on a small mat, and then got up at 5 in the morning to go into the village to give alms to the monks. People in the village go out everymorning and buy their favorite foods, and put it in the bowls teh monks use. This food is used to feed the monks, and is available for any impoverished person. People know that if they are in a position where they are not able to make a meal, they can always go to their temple and they will be fed. Wouldn't be great if every hungry person knew that if they could go to a church, they would be fed? Just a thought. Anyways.. I bought warm soy milk (told you I loved it!) and a bunch of bananas..(wow. delicious), and gave my alms. That was a very interesting experience.

We went back to the temple, just in time to see the sunrise over the mountain. This was so beautiful, and I just sat there with my warm soy milk..(I bought myself some too.. can't let the monks have all the goodness) and watched God's creation light up. I was overwhelmed with everything that had happened, and I had been reading Genesis after I meditated. That sunrise just seemed like a promise that there is so much more out there, that the world is a place to be explored and cherished. It made everything that has been happening come together in an amazing way. I'm kind of failing for words right now of how I felt, and I hope I'm not boring you with all this emotional jargon, but I was really moved and really felt changed.

View of the sunrise from the temple

This past week has been different too! I spent Monday and Tuesday at Baan Ponsawan, and then I was asked to start another internship for Wednesdays and Thursdays. I go to a developmental hospital in Chiang Mai, and help out with a Musical Production for their drama therapy department. I work with people with autism, downs syndrome, and other developmental disabilities. I'm there to help them sing and keep pitch, and I even get a feature in the show! This show is a big deal...they are having 3 performances and the Princess is supposed to even come, not to mention Kim Phipps. I'm so blessed that I was asked to perform, and am SUPER excited. It's also such a great break from the hustle and exhaustion of Baan Ponsawan, and I always feel encouraged after working with the AMAZING people in the production.

Love and miss you all SO much! Thank you for all your kind letters and messages, they really mean the world!

Also, I realized there have been A LOT of typos in my past posts, and I thought I should give an excuse. The computers here are really slow, so they don't register all that I am typing when I type it. So basically I am typing without seeing what I'm typing.. so don't worry, my English hasn't gone completely downhill!

Hope you enjoyed all the pictures! :)
<3 Kitty